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October 27 2017

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Daddy out heerrreeeee 😂😂😂😂

I just looked at ol girl’s twitter, and her dad is divorced. 😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 here for it.




This guy in my class likes to think he’s the only one who knows about tumblr
When a girl messed up her presentation he literally held up a drawn star that said ‘you tried’ and said to me “you probably won’t get it it’s an Internet thing.”


why is the gif so accurate

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Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp

Coming November 2017! 


I have a sinking feeling we’re going to regret Melania jokes when it’s revealed that Trump is deeply abusive in every way possible.

The Plan.


step 1: we buy a water bed

step 2: buy some tadpoles

step 3: we put th

step 4: frog bed.


Say what you will about how Harry Potter increases in complexity and darkness as it progresses but I think JKR sets the tone of the series pretty well when she has Dumbledore play ding-dong-ditch with a baby in the first chapter





I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

hey, thanks! now die

Thoth was the god of knowledge. So it wouldn’t be inappropriate to ask, “ Θώθ , what’s this?”

mmmmm don’t like this post

October 26 2017

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self care is putting yourself to bed on a regular schedule because it’s the base treatment for mood disorders

there’s no twist or anything it’s just really really good for u to sleep at consistent times



I had a dream I was able to time travel and I went like 10,20,100,1000,2000 years into the future but the instant I went to 4,000 I got stuck in a time dilation jail set up by the American government in the year 3,877 in which anyone that tried to time travel back or forth across May 23, 3877 while on Earth would end up stuck in this time dilation chamber trap to stop time travelers but like it was so crazy and mismanaged because it was legit capturing like every single time traveler ever and the place had only been open for 12 minutes and was already getting overpopulated with nonstop multiple recursive instances of this one other guy trying to break previous versions of himself out of this god damn time traveler jail

that is fucking hysterical and absolutely sounds like something the American Government would set up. 



Raise your hand if you agree that it’s totally fucking inappropriate to start contentious political discussions with people who are unable to get away from you

I went to a haunted house and the guy in charge of entertaining people waiting in line would not stop discoursing at me! Out of character! Oh my god I do not want to hear about how high your water taxes are and I especially don’t want to hear your hot take on North Korea’s nuclear capabilities! I paid $20 for you to dress like a zombie and shamble at me!

In fairness, I can’t think of anything much scarier than having no choice but to listen to a stranger’s bad opinions.

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u can just tell jake gyllenhaal has a nice dick it’s in his eyes

his dick is where

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My kink is getting some fuckin sleep

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dont go in this house

fucken stop me i’m having dinner with baba yaga right NOW


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